No Bloggers Were Injured During the Production of This Post

Slacklining at its best combines extreme sports, trampolines, and a balance beam. The sport, when performed by professionals, looks a lot like this. When done by a blogger whose sister gave him a slackline kit for Christmas, it looks much more like this:

As we learned after I (kind of) ran a 10k, I’m not the physical embodiment of perfection that my health screener told me I was. Slacklining took every remaining sliver of hope that I deserved that title and slashed it.

It was a beautiful Saturday, and after a tasty brunch with Erin and Dylan, we went to the park to break in my slacklines. Two things jumped out at me as torturously apparent: 1) we picked an area of the park with a painful abundance of sticks and stones on the ground, making even a 6-inch fall from the slackline very treacherous, and 2) I, having the worst balance of the trio, had to suffer through the pokes and prods much more often than I cared for. This ended in me using my friends for support and still falling frequently.


Meanwhile, my two counterparts revealed their true identities as balancing prodigies and started showing off.

Eventually, my inner star athlete propelled me to the beginner level, and I managed to perform the slightest of balancing tricks, like leaning back (definitely not falling) and holding my hands together. Be warned, two really impressive pictures follow.

Our key takeaway was that Erin and Dylan are better at slacklining than I am, and they made sure I knew it. Still, it’s a great time to balance on a rope tied to two trees. Everybody knows that.

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In my next post, the gang and I get an earful, then solve a puzzle in record time.